Friday, July 20, 2007

Top 10 List: Foods that Med School has ruined

Not for the faint of heart...

I've written more than once about medical school taking over my life, but now, I'm about to demonstrate another, entirely new and different, way that being a medical student is invading every aspect of my daily existence.

In the words of the evil resident, pathologists love food anologies. Thanks to pathologists who drew the analogies, and who provided photos that in many cases didn't need an analogy to be verbalized in order to cause irreprable harm, I now have trouble eating some foods.

Without further ado, here is the list of foods that are hard to eat now, and why, thanks to medical school.

Actually, there will be further ado, a warning that certain individuals may find the following quite disturbing. If you fall into that camp, I don't mind you choosing to not read this post, so long as you shower me with empathy anyways.

(You're lucky I provided a warning, by the way. I didn't give my sister a warning before I took her on a tour of my school's pathology museum. She lasted about 6 seconds. Bless her soul.)

1. Lasagna
An anatomic specimen of an athersclerotic aorta seen in pathology lab bore a stunning resemblance.

2. Cocktail shrimp
A procedure called "Transurethral Resection of the Prostate" (TURP!), where they shove a large, narrow .... up male patient's... nevermind ... results in tiny "cores" of the prostate gland being removed. When collected on a surgical towel and photographed, they look like shrimp. In case any student failed to make the visual association, the professor was kind enough to draw our attention to it.

3. Popcorn
Fortunately, my mind has blocked out this reference. Must have been too traumatic. I only remember that it was mentioned in a pathology lecture.

4. Tomato Juice

5. Cream Cheese
Doesn't help that the actual term to describe many pus-esque exudates is "cheesy."

6. Pulled Pork
Frighteningly stunning resemblance to certain human muscles that have been thorougly examined by anatomy students.

7. Beef Jerky
Frighteningly stunning resemblance to human abdominal muscles that have been drying out in a body bag for several months.

8. Sheep Brain
Though I enjoyed this delicacy before medical school, it just reminds me way too much of human brains now. (Okay, just kidding. I never ate sheep brain.)

9. Fettucini
One word: Tapeworms. Actually, it technically wasn't medical school that ruined this - I found this one on a blog post.

10. Cream of Broccoli Soup
Turns out this was the food that my body donor had chosen as her last meal. Please don't ask me how I know. As sad as it is gross.


Anonymous said...

I'm so glad coffee wasn't on your list. Most of those foods are not appealing to me, but I think it will be quite a long time before I indulge in fettucini again. Why can't cake, cookies or chocolate look like disgusting human innards?

Anonymous said...

Please tell me that you've never come across spag bolognaise. That is my all time favourite and one of the only things I know how to cook.

Actually if you have come across it maybe I should be left in the dark...

Richard said...

There's nothing that reminds me of the cadaver lab like a good ol' rack of ribs.

Anonymous said...

Agreed, rack of ribs. You can actually find the VAN in there. On the plus side, it occasionally impresses people when you can tell them which end the head was on.

Bongi said...

i read a calvin and hobbes where his dad gets him to eat vegetables by telling him they are actually the disembowled entrails of aliens. calvin then eats them.

these are the sorts of thoughts i entertain myself with when i eat most of these foods. fettuchini is the exception. i know what it actually is. mine eyes have been opened and i have gazed on the sacred worm.

Paramed said...

I am almost disappointed. I can't believe no one has mentioned rice? I guess those cadavers keep better than the average dead person.

incidental findings said...

Don't worry. After a while, medical school gives you a cast iron stomach. At a picnic, I was discussing necrotic limbs with a friend, and without realizing it, his wife was turning an awkward shade of green.

The Ethical Miss said...

Be glad you're not in vet school! TO add onto your list I would include cream of tomato soup (young abscess), cottage cheese (cow udder abscess), any red colored jelly (hemorrhagic abscess), nacho cheese dip (don't ask), string cheese (looks just like a spinal cord), any grilled meat (too much like using cautery on a bleeding in a dog), rice (proglottids), and gnocci (have you ever seen a cuterrebra maggot?!). Man, now my stomach's rumbling ;)

frylime said...

ooh, i remember just after i started gross lab last year and then ate at a mexican restaurant and had a plate of yellow greasy fat-looking cheese covered something placed in front of me...gross!

i really like your blog, and i'm adding you to the "blogs i read" spot on my blog...!

Anonymous said...

I might not be a medical student, but there's some foods which remind me and my friends of certain parts of the anatomy too. One of my friends giggles whenever I eat a bananna freshly peeled and whole. One time I asked her why she was giggling and she said "Well don't you see what that bananna you're eating looks like?!" I noticed when this friend of mine eats a bananna she does it by cutting it to small pieces and then eating each piece separately. I guess when she sees someone eat a bananna whole and fresh it reminds her of a certain part of the male anatomy. ;)

Dr. Smak said...

Great post!

I would add steak-ums (same vein as the Jerky, and Doritos. That first whiff of an open bag of doritos smells exactly like bone going through the bone saw.

Couldn't eat them for about a year.