Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Top 10 list: Things I learned in med school orientation

Fortunately, I learned a lot about med school through my recently-acquired hobby of reading med blogs. However, believe it or not, I did actually learn some things in orientation, though they were somewhat spread out, and not all of them were in the orientation sessions (see #8).

10 Statistics show that the people who are unprofessional in med school are the ones most likely to get sued later in their career.

9 Apparently the people who are training me to become a doctor are dumbfounded by a simple technical device known to many as the "wireless microphone." I was hoping their technological incompetence would end with their nearly unusable online admissions form - I was hoping for far too much.

8 If you're on a bus, and the back door closes before you have the chance to get out, yell "Back Door!" at the top of your lungs. The back door will then magically open. (Don't laugh, I haven't lived downtown since I was young. And I've already taught this pearl to someone else.)

7 I'm expected to buy about $2,000 of textbooks. Some second-year students have advised me to only buy 2, as there are many textbooks online.

6 I will spend the next four years and beyond in class from 8-5 and studying thereafter. Unfortunately, sleep, along with blog updates, will be rare, if existent.

5 I should be ready for some crazy bitch who could try to con me into doing something that she wants.

4 My parents are probably more excited about me being here than I am.

3 There are doctors who will develop illegal drug addictions. There are resources designed especially for them.

2 I will learn 18,000 new words over the next four years.

1 It's true. Med students work hard, and party hard. My class is full of amazing people and they LOVE to party. Even the 2nd years come to the 1st year events. Apparently there just isn't enough fun to be had.

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