Job Title: Medical Student / "Health Remedy Engineer"

Job duration: Full time (approx. 168 hours/week, some additional overtime required)
Job location: Local university and all hospitals in a 3-hour radius, including some national travel in Year 4 (not compensated)
Advancement potential: significant
Experience: Will train
Required equipment (Textbooks, etc.): Supplied by employee (not compensated).
Term length: 4 years

Duties & Responsibilities:

• Learn all common diseases and conditions and how to diagnose and treat them
• Work well with people pushed to their extremes (and become one yourself)
• Successfully pass frequent extensive examinations
• Deal with life-threatening emergencies with a calm, cool head

Qualifications:

• Must have university degree (or nearly completed one), preferably a Ph.D. or M.Sc.
• Excellent GPA
• Vast array of extracurricular activities
• Olympic medals and superhuman powers helpful but not necessary
• Sense of humour is the common denominator noted among survivors of this position

Skills and Abilities:

• Ability to stay awake for days on end
• Ability to be on call (sample schedule of a night on call)
• Ability to memorize large volumes of data
• Ability to take verbal abuse and harassment in stride
• Ability to deal with human remains in a respectful fashion
• Be familiar with the following computer applications: MDConsult.com, UpToDate.com, CMA website, provincial medical association website, patient care database, X-ray viewer software, university website, course websites, patient logging websites, PDA software such as Epocrates, Archimedes, Merck Manual, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, university tuition payment website, Solitaire

Compensation:
Hourly Wage: Starting at -$10,000, increasing to -$55,000, dependent on campus of emploment (no raises, and yes, that's correct, you pay us).
Benefits: 10% "student discount" at local pizzeria upon surrender of employee ID card. No dental, health or other benefits.
Scholarships: Some, available only to the people who are smarter than you

Application procedure:

Applications due date: September
Notification: May
CV: Include all details of employment and extracurriculars, being sure to account for every moment of your waking life. As well, include a contact person for all items on your CV that we can phone to ensure you are not making these things up.

Please note this is a very competitive position and that only successful applicants will be contacted. We thank you for your interest and hope you are insane enough to apply.