Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Job Title: Medical Student / "Health Remedy Engineer"

Job duration: Full time (approx. 168 hours/week, some additional overtime required)
Job location: Local university and all hospitals in a 3-hour radius, including some national travel in Year 4 (not compensated)
Advancement potential: significant
Experience: Will train
Required equipment (Textbooks, etc.): Supplied by employee (not compensated).
Term length: 4 years

Duties & Responsibilities:

  • Learn all common diseases and conditions and how to diagnose and treat them
  • Work well with people pushed to their extremes (and become one yourself)
  • Successfully pass frequent extensive examinations
  • Deal with life-threatening emergencies with a calm, cool head


  • Must have university degree (or nearly completed one), preferably a Ph.D. or M.Sc.
  • Excellent GPA
  • Vast array of extracurricular activities
  • Olympic medals and superhuman powers helpful but not necessary
  • Sense of humour is the common denominator noted among survivors of this position

Skills and Abilities:

  • Ability to stay awake for days on end
  • Ability to be on call (sample schedule of a night on call)
  • Ability to memorize large volumes of data
  • Ability to take verbal abuse and harassment in stride
  • Ability to deal with human remains in a respectful fashion
  • Be familiar with the following computer applications: MDConsult.com, UpToDate.com, CMA website, provincial medical association website, patient care database, X-ray viewer software, university website, course websites, patient logging websites, PDA software such as Epocrates, Archimedes, Merck Manual, Microsoft Word, Microsoft Excel, university tuition payment website, Solitaire

Hourly Wage: Starting at -$10,000, increasing to -$55,000, dependent on campus of emploment (no raises, and yes, that's correct, you pay us).
Benefits: 10% "student discount" at local pizzeria upon surrender of employee ID card. No dental, health or other benefits.
Scholarships: Some, available only to the people who are smarter than you

Application procedure:

Applications due date: September
Notification: May
CV: Include all details of employment and extracurriculars, being sure to account for every moment of your waking life. As well, include a contact person for all items on your CV that we can phone to ensure you are not making these things up.

Please note this is a very competitive position and that only successful applicants will be contacted. We thank you for your interest and hope you are insane enough to apply.


Ariel Sam said...

168 Hours per week . I cannot stop to laugh of that. I love the part Olympic medals and superhuman powers helpful but not necessary

madsadgirl said...

It's amazing to think that they get any job applicants at all.

But you know that it will be worth it in the end.

Of course, some don't win their Olympic medals until after they qualify. Dr Tim Brabants of Team GB at Beijing, and Dr Stephanie Cook Team GB in Sydney.

Katie said...

Heh, Robert Newberry of Australia has competed in the last three Olympics, has three bronzes, and is CURRENTLY studying medicine. My mind boggles.

Anonymous said...

And Scott Brennan of Australia (gold medal in rowing) is a doctor (starting intern year next year).

Doctor Ayche said...

"Benefits: 10% "student discount" at local pizzeria" Oh, ain't it the truth.

Anonymous said...

How could anyone not want this job?
: )
Good post.

Dragonfly said...

And yet we still love it (most of the time). I only occasionally think of throwing it in and flying planes or driving ambulances:-)
And lets not discount the importance (hehe) of discounts. Particularity where pizza is concerned. I could procrastinate for Australia.......those medical Olympians have nothing on me :-)

Unknown said...

This is a really good idea and there are many medical jobs in Australia that helps medical professionals and find more http://www.fastmed.org

Anonymous said...

during my third quarter we averaged one test every 36 hours for 6 months -- it really wasn't that much different from the previous 2 terms --cram and sleep. the guys with the MS's usually got to go to bed early.

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