Sunday, January 28, 2007

Random Thoughts: My attempt at a cynical post

Thoughts that defy categorization or enough bulk to earn their own post. Oh, and when I started this blog I wanted to at least be somewhat like my e-idols The Fake Doctor (Ah Yes, Med School) or Fingers & Tubes in Every Orifice, because for some reason I find it hilarious and way more entertaining than "Today in med school I felt..." so I will try to sound more cynical than usual. Now that I've read The House of God (which I hope to post a review of sorts about soon), I feel like I might have the hang of it. Tell me how it goes.

  • Horray for pyjama day tomorrow in class. I'm sure our tutors for our morning small-group sessions will be anxiously awaiting assigning our "Professionalism" marks when they see me and my classmates in loafers and a robe. (Yes, we do get marked on Professionalism.) I went and bought pyjamas so that everyone else in my class thinks that I wear some sort of clothing when I go to sleep. I guess this 'event' is because we can't look forward to a career wearing something as comfortable as pyjamas (implication: scrubs), we have to have pyjama days during our training, apparently.

  • I didn't expect so many people in my class to gasp or moan "Eeeeewww!" when shown disgusting photos of fungal infections. You're in frikkin' medical school. Did you not expect these photos?! They're why I signed up. In my first day of undergrad microbiology we were shown large, graphic photos infected penises. Not sure what my prof's obsession was, but you get the point.

  • It's kindof funny watching med students during a lecture on head and neck facial anatomy. Everyone has the desire to palpate their facial bones, for some reason. I guess they're just trying to do their homework in class so they don't have to do it later.

  • If you ask the prof a question, make sure it isn't something they JUST covered. And don't turn and talk to your buddy behind you about what you are doing for lunch while the prof is answering your question.

  • So far we have been strictly told NOT to be giving out medical advice. Funny, for a profession that revolves around giving advice, you'd think they'd be training us to do this right from the start. I've given plenty of advice on this blog. Sorry.

  • Even though in the first week or two I heard a lot of "I'm not sure how I got in" or "I'm waiting for the call to tell me I was a mistake admission," now there is none of that. I guess people in my class are too busy having their feet kissed by pre-meds. The other reason I went into med school. Just kidding.

  • Dear Administration, If you are going to tease us with complete note packs for the first few weeks, please tell us in advance that you're going to stop making the note packs complete and force us to start printing some lectures individually so we don't rely on you. You have developed laziness in all of us and for that you should be ashamed, and I refuse to take blame. Oh, and hire a new receptionist. The one you have now is a, well, let's just say massive cholesterol reservoir that refuses to help anybody and about whom people talk behind her back. Friends 4vr, Vitum.

  • Why do people get upset when the 'patients' in the case-based learning cases die? Here's a quarter, go buy yourself some emotional stability. Who cares if it's a kid and the doctor messed up. It's fiction. Learn the lesson from the fictional case and move on. Patients won't die when we get into the real world, anyways, unless you're a crappy doctor. Oh wait, they will. You might as well develop resilience now so that you don't burst out crying like an infant in front of a patient's family. While sensitive is a good thing, so is imperturbability; did you even read the first chapter of Sir William Osler 1849-1919 A Selection for Medical Students, which you got in the first week of medical school?

  • To the person who e-mailed Ask Vitum (actually, left a comment) about what wallet to buy for someone who wears scrubs, sorry I didn't get back to you but a) you tried to communicate with me during finals, which is a no-no, and b) you're asking the wrong person. I only get to wear scrubs to anatomy lab so far and I don't take my wallet in because the smell of death tends to get into everything and I don't want my MasterVisa to smell like morbidity and mortality the next time I buy Skittles at the convenience store. People will point and stare. I don't do anything in a hospital, let alone in scrubs, except when I shadow doctors, or walk through the emergency ward in my downtime with my ID badge clipped on to make myself feel important, which I will never admit to actually doing nor doing often.


2 comments:

Frood Bird said...

Vitum,
Please don't become a cynic. Some bloggers pull it off really well, but I actually prefer your genuine tone. You sound like you appreciate being in medschool, as opposed to hating the system. Don't lose your innocence...

Anonymous said...

Most of us will get upset when a patient die in the case-based learning cases. It is very natural human emotional sentiment. Nothing to worry...

-Prakash Arige